Theios and Birthdays.

I'm about to pull a Jason.



Twenty.


So it’s 12:16 am and I am sitting in a booth at Theio’s, listening to the awful radio in the diner and drinking coffee that is so hot its bubbles are making me nervous.

There is a couple sitting directly in my view and just watching them interact is better than any television show [I fucking hate tv], they are adorable and make me so happy. They make direct eye contact with each other when they are having conversation, that’s not something I see very often. If I had to guess, I would say they have been dating for about a year and a half. Instead of kissing or sitting on the same side of the booth, their hints of affection are more subtle, like good conversation and an occasional touch of the hand. No fidgeting or nervous laughter, they are completely confident and secure, and I think it’s the best thing in the world. Soon things will probably turn sour, but not yet.

Speaking of love, I have these jackasses in the booth to my left, and I think one of them is intoxicated. There’s three of them, two guys and one girl. The guy sitting across from the couple is the drunk one, and he is going on tangents about love and it’s hilarious listening to his stupidity. One of his more noteworthy quotes: “Dude, man….I love you, you know that bro. And I love that you guys are so in love and I would never try to fuck any of that up. And you know what, no matter how MANY times you guys have broken up and gotten back together, how many times has it been, FOUR times? Well anyways, fuck man, you guys have been through SO much! You guys are going to get married!” At that moment, Lisa, the waitress, sets down the sloppiest burger in the entire world and he procedes to take the largest bite I have ever seen. With burger still lingering in his fucking loud-ass mouth, “DAWWWG…who’s going to be yo best man? You know I’m going to be your best man, come on dawwg.
”
Okay,
I don’t know when breaking up and getting back together four times constituted going through so many trials and tribulations that you DESERVE to get married. Congratulations, you guys suck so much as a couple that you’ve broken up four times, man you guys are ready to head down the aisle! Piss on them.


Oh good, this coffee has cooled down now, no more bubbles.


So, it’s my birthday now. I’m twenty. Man, it snuck up on me. I was thinking about past birthdays earlier, and it’s so funny the ones that stick.

I was twelve, I believe. My parents had finally let me have a birthday party with friends, I got a beanie baby from Sam Way and my mom and my aunt planned a treasure hunt for me and my friends, I got way too into it, so did my dad.

I was thirteen, and I had a birthday party at the park, that was the last birthday with Papa [ my grandpa], and I just remember getting scratch-off lottery tickets winning 60 dollars and thinking it was the coolest thing in the world. I also remember how fat I was, how I was wearing a pink tank top and a yellow old navy visor, with my hair in French braids, I was quite the sight. I think I got a boombox that year. I still have it, I think it’s the one my dad threw at my door.
Ha
Skip ahead.

16: I had my first serious boyfriend, but we were still in the early stages. Oh James, I had the biggest crush on you. I woke up early that morning, went on livejournal and read a letter that James had wrote to his ex-girlfriend talking about how he wondered what she was up to now, and describing funny memorable experiences they had in the past, and with some fucking Brian McKnight lyrics dedicating them to her.
Hahaha
He got me a gold necklace that had been hidden in my basement. I still have it somewhere.

17: No more boyfriend. My parents got me my first camera, I went NUTS.

18: Dustin and I went to Logan’s Roadhouse for dinner. I had some sort of shishkabob, made inappropriate jokes about it, and threw a peanut that landed in some stranger’s water glass. We were immature and I liked it.

19: Dustin and I were on the outs, and he really wanted to go to a Tiger’s game on my birthday. At first, he was just going to go without me, that ass. He finally put two and two together, “oh she loves baseball, AND it’s her birthday…maybe I should take her.” Well fuck! Really I didn’t care about him buying my ticket, I just wanted to be invited, I mean, he was going with our friends anyways…dumbass. It was funny and I was pissed.


So now I’m twenty and probably more responsible and immature than ever and I miss my mom’s funfetti birthday cake. Damn.
I'll give you an update on the funness my friends and I will have tomorrow. I'm sure there will be documentation.


I hope everyone read all of this.

ha

Much love.

sam.